The Belsfield Hotel overlooks Bowness Bay, and is a place that looms large in my life. I met my wife in the Belsfield Hotel, whilst working there in the early seventies. I worked there for four years and during that time met a number of celebrities, including one Alfred Wainwright. Yes, that's right, THE Alfred Wainwright. Not only did I meet him, I managed to get him lost.
I don't know the exact date but it was sometime in the mid seventies. He was guest of honour at a Country Landowners Association luncheon, in fact, the CLA were presenting him with an award for his services to the countryside. As he approached the dining room he asked the head waiter what time the room was booked until. The head waiter, a very likeable Mancunian by the name of Brian, had never been asked a question like that before. He'd sometimes been asked what time a function was due to end, or what time the meal would be served, but never how long the room was booked.
Brian's answer was that the room was available all afternoon if they wanted it, to which AW replied, "I hope it doesn't go on that long, I was banking on an hour and a half at the most." And then he made his entrance. Brian turned to me and said "keep an eye on him, and make sure he's OK, I don't want him running off before the do ends."
To be honest AW was not as we had been led to believe. Once in the room he was quite open, chatting and laughing with his hosts, and he accepted his award with grace and made a short but amusing acceptance speech.
At the buffet table he was quite blunt, enquiring about whether the food had been "mucked about with" and opting for the Quiche Lorraine when told it contained nothing but eggs, milk, bacon and cheese. And after the buffet he actually came over and told us that he enjoyed it.
Towards the end of the function he came up to me and asked directions to the lavatory. Anyone who knows the layout of the Belsfield Hotel will be aware that from the dining room you head to the lounge, turn right, go straight past reception then on to the end and turn right again just before the stairs. The loos are on the left. So those were the directions I gave him.
A couple of minutes later I was in the kitchen when the housekeeper appeared,, followed by AW!. She guided him through the maze of chefs, out of the door that leads to the managers office, (or at least it did then, I am told that the kitchen layout changed in the eighties) and on to the toilets. Then she returned to speak to me.
AW had been on a bit of an adventure. He managed to get past reception, but instead of turning right and then left at the end of the corridor, he turned left, and then right. He then walked through a door to find himself in a conference room full of salespeople. The MD of the company running the conference was just giving his keynote speech and was no doubt surprised to find AW wandering in on proceedings.
One of the delegates put him right, but still AW did not reach the loos. He actually walked straight past them, through a door outside the managers office and ended up at the counter of the linen room, whereupon he was rescued by the housekeeper.
Needless to say, I got all the blame. AW chastised me for giving him the wrong directions, and then criticised the hotel for not having proper signs on the doors.
Anyway, if you pop into the Belsfield for one of their excellent meals, or book a break there, and go to the loo, remember that you are following in the footsteps of AW himself. Just try not to get lost!
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