Drawing inspiration from the telly

There is no getting away from it. This year the  Lakeland fells have been quieter than normal. Only just last week, in the middle of the holiday season,  I set off down the Langdale Valley and actually managed to walk from Side House to Elterwater without meeting another person. True, it was raining, but this is the Cumbria Way, after all, and there is usually someone about, even if it is only a local walking their dog.

Lingmoor was also eerily quiet, although it is not unusual to have the fell all to oneself. But looking down the valley from Side Pike I was struck by just how quiet it was. Through the mist I could make out the outline of one solitary walker plodding up Mickleden, and wondered whether he or she was heading for Bowfell, or going over the the pass towards Borrowdale. The rain had stopped, the mist was clearing, and there were plenty of cars on the road, but walkers were in short supply.

Actually, as I tucked into my apricot jam and sausage sandwich (don't ask!) I started to imagine that the silence of the fells was a result of something I had missed. Everyone was, I decided, somewhere else. Somewhere that I should also have been, attending an event I had forgotten. Trouble was, I couldn't remember what it was. But I started to become convinced that over the fell in Borrowdale, hundreds of walkers were gathering to celebrate the majesty of the Lakeland Fells at a walkers convention that I knew nothing about.

It was a logical explanation, and as I plodded down towards the camp site I had almost convinced myself that I was right. Until, after 4 hours on the fell, I met a couple going the other way. They were not tourists out for a walk, but fellwalkers pursuing their love of walking. Both are commonplace, but you can tell the difference. Fellwalkers don't tend to be wearing new gear, and they carry maps and compasses. Actually, some  tourists don't wear any proper walking gear at all, as anyone associated with the Mountain Rescue service will tell you.  However, I digress.

I stopped to pass the time of day, as you do, and during the course of the conversation a theory as to why the fells were quieter than normal this year was put forward. Quite apart from the rain, the recession and a certain sporting event taking place elsewhere, the lack of people on the fells could also be put down to the Julia Factor, or rather the lack of it.

The Julia to which I am referring is, of course, Julia Bradbury. She still adorns our television screens on a regular basis, but not walking around the Lake District. And there is no doubt whatsoever that being featured on mainstream television does have an effect on the numbers of people taking to the fells. I well remember walking up Castle Crag the week after that fell had been featured on "Wainwright's Walks". OK, I will admit that it was a nice day, but even so I was surprised to find well over forty people on the summit enjoying the sunshine and views. Not only that but there was a steady stream of people heading up the fell as we were heading back down. By contrast, Catbells, which is normally very popular, but had not been featured on the telly the week before, was strangely deserted.

Coincidence? I don't think so. Just look at the effect that the Olympics has had. The Saturday after the games ended sports clubs up and down the country reported an  increase in the number of people wanting to join. They'd watched the games on the telly. Now they wanted to get involved. And whilst some will no doubt give up as soon as they get out of breath, others will go on to become future champions.

In the nineteen thirties Alfred Wainwright was inspired to walk the fells after climbing Orrest Head and seeing the whole of the Lake District laid out before him. In 1970 I was inspired to walk the fells after climbing Black Combe, the bulky hill that lies on the South West corner of the National Park, and discovering that "another world", lay on the other side of the mountain.

Nowadays, it seems, hundreds of people get their inspiration by tuning in to BBC4 of a Friday night.

Nuneaton here I come!!!!

The news last week that Nuneaton is now part of the Lake District gave me good cheer. I've got relatives who live in Nuneaton. I can visit them of a Sunday afternoon now that it is a stone's throw from Windermere.

For those slightly confused by the above, allow me to explain. Last week, that esteemed travel web site "Trip Advisor" made a bit of a mistake with one of it's maps and gave the impression that Nuneaton was in fact, the gateway to the Lakes. It's an easy mistake to make, after all, there are huge similarities between the two. Both are quite close to the M6 and both have hills, although it is a fact that the hills in Nuneaton are not very high, or topped by cairns, but who cares about a mere technicalty like that?

Nuneaton also has 18 lakes. That's 17 more than the Lake District. And they are surrounded by trees, contain fish, and you can hire a rowing boat. Unfortunately, they are a bit short of Meres, Tarns, and Waters, but you can't have everythng.

It has a rich literary history though. George Eliot was from Nuneaton. And he was a lady, just like our very own Beatrix Potter, who may have actually been to Nuneaton, but nobody really knows for sure.

The town has several other famous sons. Like Ken Loach, the film director and Larry Grayson, who never shut that door on the town.

Now, the Lake District Hospitality Association, another esteemed organisation, has joined in by granting Nuneaton honorary Lake District Town status, thereby making the repositioning of Nuneaton official. It is no longer an Internet gaffe. It is now part of the Lake District. Evidently, someone in Nuneaton held a party to celebrate.

It would seem that quite a few people who live in Nuneaton have actually been to the Lake District on holiday. Now they won't have to. They can stay at home, enjoy the wonderful scenery and then truthfully tell their friends that they holidayed in the Lakes. And those of us that live in the Lakes can pop over to Nuneaton to do a bit of shopping, so watch out Kendal and Penrith, there's a new kid on the block.

It is also good news for house owners in Nuneaton, as prices are set to soar with new buyers flooding into the town to buy up cottages as second homes. This will also have a positive effect on the town's traffic problems, reducing the number of cars on the road and thereby doing away with the need to upgrade the one way system. And Christmas shopping in Nuneaton will now be a doddle as all the tourists will have gone home.

Nuneaton's tourist attraction will also find itself extremely busy as bus loads of Japanese descend on the town to photograph it from every angle. The Nuneaton Post Card Emporium will be taking on extra staff shortly.

Yes, it is good news all round for Nuneaton, in all but one respect. The good people of that fine old Warwickshire town are going to have to get used to the rain. And if they think that this year has been wet, they are in for a surprise when they experience a really good Lake District Summer.

And now I need to buy a new map, and get to work planning next years edition of "Walks around Nuneaton"

Watch this space!!

How the call centre man got his name

After a couple of weeks confined to the office sorting out all sorts of material for inclusion in our new walking pages, which are being updated throughout the winter, I have got used to the fact that many of the operatives who work in Indian based call centres call themselves by an English name when quite clearly they are not English.

I am also reliably informed that in order to help them better communicate with the people they are supposed to be selling to, call centre workers are shown English television programmes such as Eastenders. Not only do they watch, but they are encouraged to adopt the christian names of characters. Very often, if seems, a group of workers will be formed into a team, and everyone in that team will adopt the name of a character from the same television programme.

Clearly this may cause them more problems than they might think. If a guy calling himself "Alfie" rings you from Mumbai to try to persuade you to change power supplier he is hardly likely to inspire confidence, especially if a day earlier a woman called "Kat" also rang from the same company.

This week we have had three calls into our office from the same telesales team in India trying to persuade us to change our mobile phone contract. Nothing wrong in that, I suppose, and the people who rang were perfectly nice, hard working individuals. But I cannot help but feel that they may stand a better chance of success if they just introduced themselves by their own name. There is, after all, absolutely nothing wrong with being called Amir or Mallika, so why hide their own name in favour of John or Jenny. I for one would be far more likely to respond to someone calling themselves by their own name, or at least one that sounds like it could be their own name, rather than something that I am fairly certain has been adopted for the purpose of trying to gain my confidence, but which is quite clearly false.

The three calls to our office this week, all selling the same product,  are a good case in point. On Monday we were called by John, on Wednesday it was Virgil, and today we were called by a chap calling himself Parker. I could not resist engaging him in conversation with regard to his name and after a short while did indeed ascertain that he and the other members of his team have adopted names used by characters in "Thunderbirds". Which means that in all probability there is a guy  ringing people up to sell them a new mobile phone contract who is quite happy to tell you that his name is Brains and he can save you money on your mobile phone calls.

Any women on the team may also be in for a hard time when they introduce themselves. Penelope may well get away with it, but I for one cannot wait for the day when the person on the other end of the phone announces, "hello there, my name is Grandma."

It didn't turn out too bad after all!

OK, my aforementioned video complete with voice over has been on You Tube a while. Just in case you missed it, here it is.

All in all I am quite pleased with the outcome. OK, so it is a long way off being a Hollywood blockbuster. The camera shakes have not gone away and I have learned one very important lesson about that:- just because you use a tripod it does not mean that the camera will always be steady. Even so, practice makes perfect.

As for the dreaded voice over, well actually I am quite pleased with it. I only use basic equipment, so no audio compression or anything like that, but even so it has not come out too bad. As one reviewer has already told me, it is the words and how much enthusiasm you put into speaking them that is the most important thing.

So the decision has been made. It is out with the captions and in future all our videos will have a voice over, unless I decide that a bit of Mozart or the like is more appropriate.

I am just starting to look at Octobers calendar and work out which walks are worthy of being turned into a video. I don't have the time or resources to do it for each one, so a careful choice will need to be made. Up to press it is going to be Grasmere and three others, two short, and one longer.

I'll keep you posted.

Why do we hate the sound of our own voice?!!!!

I've just finished doing something that I have never done before. Recording a voice over for a video. You would think that would be an easy job, after all, all I had to do was talk for 6 and a half minutes. OK, so it is reading a script and I did get told off for not following the script and also for not putting enough emphasis into my voice, but even so it should have been a doddle.

Which begs a couple of questions:

1   Why did it take 1 hour and 45 minutes? It is not as though I am recording an album. Our recording equipment is basic to say the least, but the microphone works fine, the sound is being recorded digitally, so no hiss or anything like that. The thing was, try as I might I just could not seem to get the words out properly.

2   Why did doing it make me nervous? I've done public speaking. I've got up and made speeches and not had so much as a hint of nervousness. Never a stumble, totally flawless. And yet sit down in a room with headphones on and no one else there, and as soon as the little red light comes on I feel like a condemned man being led from his cell to the gallows. It is the last place I want to be, the butterflies in my stomach have turned to frogs, very active frogs, and I cannot hold the script without shaking. As for getting my words wrong, well we won't even go there!!!!

The answer to these questions is, I think, very simple. I hate the sound of my own voice. And the fact that it is being recorded, with every stutter and mistake being saved for posterity, just makes matters worse. I am not alone. I know lots of people who hate the sound of their own voice. Which is a tad irrational if you think about it. After all, we spend hours talking to others without thinking about how our own voices sound. Never once when holding a conversation with someone have I thought "I hope my voice sounds OK". I've adjusted the volume, or maybe put a bit of emphasis into what I was saying, or even added an accent for effect, but the overall general sound of my voice has never been a consideration for me.

The answer, I'm told, is to relax, be natural, forget that the voice is being recorded and just be yourself. I was told by my wife, she who guides me in all things and is seldom wrong, to think about it rather like I might think about going on a date. Don't be nervous, be natural, be yourself. That's all well and good, but it is 37 years since I last went on a date, and then I was too frightened to speak. Not that I told her that. I think she just thought I was a bit shy, although she's long since discovered that is not the case.

So I tried today, I really tried, to do a good job. The result I find slightly comical. My voice has a slightly over the top edge to it. In fact it sounds a bit false, like one of those fifties travel programs. Anyway,  judge for yourself, because the video is now on You Tube, and I've embedded it below. And depending upon the reaction I'll decide whether to do any more with voiceover, or stick to putting captions on the bottom of the footage.

I got Wainwright lost!!!!!

The Belsfield Hotel overlooks Bowness Bay, and is a place that looms large in my life. I met my wife in the Belsfield Hotel, whilst working there in the early seventies. I worked there for four years and during that time met a number of celebrities, including one Alfred Wainwright. Yes, that's right, THE Alfred Wainwright. Not only did I meet him, I managed to get him lost.

I don't know the exact date but it was sometime in the mid seventies. He was guest of honour at a Country Landowners Association luncheon, in fact, the CLA were presenting him with an award for his services to the countryside. As he approached the dining room he asked the head waiter what time the room was booked until. The head waiter, a very likeable Mancunian by the name of Brian, had never been asked a question like that before. He'd sometimes been asked what time a function was due to end, or what time the meal would be served, but never how long the room was booked.

Brian's answer was that the room was available all afternoon if they wanted it, to which AW replied, "I hope it doesn't go on that long, I was banking on an hour and a half at the most." And then he made his entrance. Brian turned to me and said "keep an eye on him, and make sure he's OK, I don't want him running off before the do ends."

To be honest AW was not as we had been led to believe. Once in the room he was quite open, chatting and laughing with his hosts, and he accepted his award with grace and made a short but amusing acceptance speech.

At the buffet table he was quite blunt, enquiring about whether the food had been "mucked about with" and opting for the Quiche Lorraine when told it contained nothing but eggs, milk, bacon and cheese. And after the buffet he actually came over and told us that he enjoyed it.

Towards the end of the function he came up to me and asked directions to the lavatory. Anyone who knows the layout of the Belsfield Hotel will be aware that from the dining room you head to the lounge, turn right, go straight past reception then on to the end and turn right again just before the stairs. The loos are on the left. So those were the directions I gave him.

A couple of minutes later I was in the kitchen when the housekeeper appeared,, followed by AW!. She guided him through the maze of chefs, out of the door that leads to the managers office, (or at least it did then, I am told that the kitchen layout changed in the eighties) and on to the toilets. Then she returned to speak to me.

AW had been on a bit of an adventure. He managed to get past reception, but instead of turning right and then left at the end of the corridor, he turned left, and then right. He then walked through a door to find himself in a conference room full of salespeople. The MD of the company running the conference was just giving his keynote speech and was no doubt surprised to find AW wandering in on proceedings.

One of the delegates put him right, but still AW did not reach the loos. He actually walked straight past them, through a door outside the managers office and ended up at the counter of the linen room, whereupon he was rescued by the housekeeper.

Needless to say, I got all the blame. AW chastised me for giving him the wrong directions, and then criticised the hotel for not having proper signs on the doors.

Anyway, if you pop into the Belsfield for one of their excellent meals, or book a break there, and go to the loo, remember that you are following in the footsteps of AW himself. Just try not to get lost!